Saturday, April 24, 2010

Early this week I found myself stuck in the muck and ooze of life. Usually I see that giant life sucking goop pond in front of me and walk around. Nope. Not this week, it seemed that the hill I was on just kept slanting just a little more. And, instead of turning around and climbing out, what did I do. Yep, sat right down as if it was a ride at a theme park and slid right down with a giant SPLASH!

I think that sometimes it's important to waller in a little grief and self, I wouldn't suggest the delusional depth that I sank to, but even at that, here I am on Saturday, able to write about it.

I'm not the greatest at confrontation. I've gotten much better at speaking my mind, and following and trusting, my gut. Now, I'm talking specifically about my son, who is in middle school. He has trichotillomania, that's where you pull out hairs, they can be arm hair, facial hair, the hair on your head. It's a nervous condition, likened to nail biting, fidgeting, a coping mechanism, that then takes on a life of it's own. You can imagine that in middle school, heading off to school with a lopsided thinning head of hair, well, that could be a bit difficult. Still, everyone needs to go to school, and life is always full of obstacles, it's in the climbing over that makes us strong and realize that we can do it....Yeah, oh big strong blog-writer Brenda. I hate it! It makes my stomach all churned up inside and makes me want to vomit....this situation also does the same thing to my son....anxious vomiting...which then...he gets his head all wrapped around it, and then being the brilliant 13 year old that he is...hmmm...I can use this to get out of school...Yeah, I know, arrrgghhhh! So, I indulged for a day, as allergies are crazy bad, and let him stay home. Day 2 comes. and I'm starting to feel a slight twinge of falsification on his part...but, he was hot, so it could be a bug....Day 3....forget it!!! sick or not sick, hair or no hair...your going to school. So here, I sound all tough on the outside, but inside, I'm a jumble of knots, and not knowing and feeling like the crappiest mother in the world...he's now late for school and I call to let them know he is coming..."why is he tardy", Umm, he was vomiting, so he needed to clean up. "your sending your kid to school vomiting?" Yep. thank you.

So, there is the long version of sliding into the muck and mire of life. Failure to the school, Failure to my child. Failure to all the Mother's in the World. Of course, I'm being dramatic, but sometimes, when you aren't in the "right" frame of mind, that's all it takes for you to sit down, and slide the rest of the way down.

Fortunately, I'm educated enough to know, kick your own ass, or else this is going to be much more painful than it needs to be. So, Wednesday, a partook in a nice long walk downtown, and then to the library where I found this wonderful book

"Stupid Sock Creatures" by John Murphy. Wonderful!!!

Nothing like some fresh air and silliness to bring me back.

Smiles to All,

Sunday, April 18, 2010

freemotion comfort doll

Funny, doing these two blogs...I feel a little disconnected!!!I'm not a compartmentalized kinda gal, everything generally just gets spued wherever I happen to be. So, please bear with me. If you'd like to view the "how to" on this, head on over to
this little gal is going to be fun to continue to make. - Smiles B.

following the whisper...

....I don't know if everyone suffers from this or not, I'm certain that I'm not the only one...but...why can it be SO difficult to follow the whim, the whisper, the dream? It seems some sort of brain shift happens. And not the happy one, brainshift, like when I'm sewing, or brain shifts into, well, not so pleasant thoughts. Thoughts that work seriously at defeating my whim.

Why is that? If I have to know why it is in order to get rid of it, can I get rid of it?And the really quirky thing is that it generally happens when I'm working on being happy, or productive, or on track. I know I personally have worries and fears, is that what gets in the way? I also know that sometimes I will say to myself, "what will people think"...usually I laugh, and shrug that one off, but sometimes, and this is when the brain is in its nasty place, I do think, what will people think...hmmm....why look at the negative, what if people actually that isn't where the bad brain goes, does it. More brain shift work ahead...maybe that's what I could use. Make a construction sign, and everytime "funk" happen I could post it..."underconstruction...brainshift ahead...proceed with caution"... HA!

Anyway, the cloud is lifting, and in case you are concerned, it never settles for long. Its just one of those questions that I want to throw out there into the cyber abyss and see if is sticks on anything.

I've been busy wood burning gourds, and freemotion quilting. So much fun.

Smiles to all,


Saturday, April 17, 2010

the next design...

Here is the next design that I am working on for free motion. I took a painting on fabric that I had done a few years ago, and then stashed away. Now I've found the next use for this as well as the previous. I am simply going along with the flow of the design. I think that this practice is going to help me get a more consist stitch. I'm not real concerned with it...I just think, like with everything, the more you do, the more consist you, I hope you enjoy.

the materials:

  • Apple Barrel Craft Paints

  • Delta acrylics

  • Delta Ceramcoat textile medium.

  • Muslin

Just have at it!!Fun and Smiles to all. Brenda

Monday, April 12, 2010

this weeks fettish: free motion quilting. What is it that makes me want to try all this stuff. Ahh, whatever, it's fun. So, I had a flower thing that I had painted on muslin and then outlined in permanent ink. Now, that is the perfect thing to give this quilting a whirl. Maybe it's cheating a little bit because I'm fol...lowing lines, but that's I go!
Since I'm a tool freak also, I wanted to get an extension table to help me...ahhh, $85, a little steep for a beginning whim. While I was chatting with our local shop, the owner suggested trying just to make one to see if it was worth the help for me...viola! My new extension table for me IZEK...(silly machine, but I do kinda love it for some things)

Then, I remembered I had some paintings of fabric that I had done a couple of years ago. Remember, some things ARE worth holding onto, there purpose may not become clear until the time is ready.

So now I am starting to free motion quilt. I think I like the facts that I have lines to help me for my first attempt. And, I'm pretty sure that I will draw lines on future ones, if only with disappear ink, to help out. Nothing wrong with a little help.

Now onto the sewing machine...she's calling my name. My DH won't be home for dinner so the DC will love that frozen pizza that is now in the oven...ok...I don't think it necessarily makes me a bad mom, just efficient...have a piece of fruit with it!

Smiles to All,

Sunday, April 11, 2010

A Decision...

I think I may be learning to follow what I think. I know that may seem a little goofy to some, but to me, it is AMAZING. I started reading the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Yep, downloaded it onto the Kindle and then...of course, I need to be multi-tasking, so I have it on my Ipod too. (I love my DH) What I am learning, is to just do it...I know that Nike alread has that slogan, and has been telling me that exact same thing for years, but I guess I am one who needs to hear it one thousand different ways a thousand different times, before one of those clicks in my brain.

With all that said. I'm following a whim...or as another artist calls it a "whisper". I saw some photos my son took on FB. I was in awe of many of them. They also called to me as inspiration. How wonderful would it be to interpret some of these into painted multi-media designs, and then make them into totes.

Now, my DH says..."Honey, do you quilt? Do you really make totes?" Nope is the answer. But you know what, I didn't jog, swim, or bike regularly and I participated in a triathlon.

Point well taken.
So, yes following my "whim" ... "whisper"..."thought" I don't know exactly how it will turn out. But I LOVE the process. ALWAYS have... and I suppose that is what I am learning, that that is just fine, I'm a process person, not a results person. (that would be my DH)

So to the sewing machine I learn how to free motion quilt.
Smiles to all,